I'd so rarely resisted, that I hadn’t made it hard enough for him.

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Later on, when I tried to imagine how I might have ruined things, that would occur to me – that I'd so rarely resisted, that I hadn’t made it hard enough for him. Maybe he felt disappointed. Maybe it was like gathering your strength and hurling your body against a door you believe to be locked, and then the door opens easily –it wasn’t locked at all- and you’re standing looking into the room, trying to remember what it was you though you wanted.” – Curtis Sittenfeld – Prep

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